Dog Truths

Dog Truth #1: The only thing that smells worse than the bathroom after you've bathed the dog is the dog before you've bathed him. This is why it's a good idea to bathe the dog when the bathroom needs to be cleaned.

Dog Truth #2: As soon as you've bathed the dog, the dog will urgently need to go outside, whereupon the dog will find the smelliest, most decomposed substance available and roll in it until thoroughly coated. If you refuse to let the dog outside, the dog will pee in the house. Probably in the location most likely to be seen by important guests.